Personally, she will continue to address letters by hand as long as the service will tolerate it. The Postal Service does still accept handwritten envelopes, but she sadly acknowledges that this will probably not last - especially as handwriting is rarely taught properly, or at all. GENTLE READER: Even Miss Manners cannot dispute the need for an address to be legible to those responsible for delivering it. If the address is handwritten, some have suggested that the words be printed, not written in longhand, and that only capital letters be used. Typed or computer-printed addresses are now the kindest, and the preference of the U.S. I would prefer to receive a "thank you" note with a computer-generated label than to have it sent to the wrong address because the computer could not read the chicken scratches on the envelope. View CommentsĭEAR MISS MANNERS: In the days when human beings sorted the mail and students were taught to write in beautiful script, a hand-addressed envelope was correct.īut now the beleaguered post office depends on computers to read the addresses. Given your history, there is no reason to think she will not comply. Tell your aunt that your break with your mother, though necessary, is still a painful topic, and that you would rather discuss almost anything else. Your case shows the injustice of such accusations. In consequence, people who are indifferent to harm accuse those with good manners of being insufficiently honest. GENTLE READER: Etiquette prefers an indirect approach when it avoids giving offense, or when it is more likely to succeed than brute force. I am looking for a polite but firm way to shut down these painful discussions without spoiling a rare visit with my aunt or coming across as rude. Life is short, and I don't want to alienate my beloved aunt. However, every time we meet lately, my aunt insists on bringing up my mother's latest whereabouts and scandalous doings (as gleaned from social media, which I am not on), as a point of ridicule or gossip in an otherwise pleasant conversation. She has always been extremely loving and supportive to me. Growing up, I was very close with her sister, my aunt. This was a painful decision, and not one I made lightly, but I stand by it and have learned to live with it. Several years ago, I cut ties with her due to the chaos and hurt she brought to my life. (Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, to her email, or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.) View CommentsĭEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother has a substance abuse disorder and a severe untreated mental illness. If you will settle in for repeating yourself, and stop confessing unpleasant truths, Miss Manners will support you against your assailants. GENTLE READER: Not taking "no" for an answer is rude repeating "I'm sorry, but we just can't" in the face of such pestering is, emphatically, not. I know I'm failing in the politeness area, but I'm at a loss as to how to do better. And "sorry, no" comes across as rude after the second or third time. I have even told someone who explained that they had already issued the extended invitation that rescinding it was going to be awkward and uncomfortable for them. I can stick with "sorry, no," for about a half-dozen responses, but eventually end up telling them my reasons: I don't enjoy being in that person's company for more than two hours I don't enjoy hosting people I barely know your untrained dog pees in my house - and yes, I care more about my rugs than your dog being kenneled. I've answered "sorry, no" with a smile, but have never done so without repeated challenges - being asked why, or having to rebut a series of "but this is how it could work" arguments. We have plenty of room, so that's not the issue we really just don't want to. We're often asked to accommodate additional guests, and sometimes even animals. DEAR MISS MANNERS: We live in a popular vacation area and often host friends and family for long weekends and even full-week stays.
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